Vet Visits and Veggiefied Noodles

It appears the UK is so busy with storms and flooding that today we got their usually crappy weather.  It seemed to be continuously raining without actual drops falling from the sky, like walking through an endless soggy cloud.
   

The community police-folk had kindly woken the doggos at 8am (on a Saturday!) to check my housemate's registration papers again, and unable to get back to sleep I indulged in a bit more Friend's watching and losing time on Pinterest. Originally looking for Chinese breakfast ideas (who knew I might actually miss school food), the morning magically disappeared and it was soon time to start thinking about lunch. Sticking with the Chinese theme, I recreated a version of the Omnivores DanDan Noodles, sans porc of course. I also tried to create my own chili oil. In the past, I'm sure Drew and I just threw chili flakes in to a jar of oil and hoped for the best - what amateurs! It was fun to do, my only wish was that I owned a funnel.
  

 Use all the spices!

Still, I'm thankful to finally have hot water in the kitchen which made cleaning up the aftermath that little bit easier. The first two years I was told by the letting agent that a hot-water tap in the kitchen is "non-essential," and used to have to wash up in cold water or by boiling the kettle. No wonder people are getting sick, smh.

In the afternoon, I left the house! I was able to take Bao to the vets, and if I'm being perfectly honest I was dreading it. Given how much my previous elderly foster dog had gone through; months of medications, blood-tests and a blood transfusion, eventually ending in an emotional euthanisation (and an exceedingly large vet bill), I wasn't sure what to expect. She'd had a blood test about a month ago, and found that certain levels were high, possibly due to liver or gallbladder issues - a result of living off a diet of rubbish (trash for my American friends) for a fair amount of her life. She'd previously been put on a kind of doggy-multivitamins, that seemed to be working well and given her a bit more energy. Thankfully, I was able to pop to the eerily empty shopping mall over the road whilst she had her blood tests done, and came back to find that whilst some levels were still off, the vet remained hopeful. Given her age, her condition, and the fact that she currently has a healthy appetite, he was reluctant to put her on any further medication in case it upset her stomach.
  

En route to the vets!

Unfortunately, he wasn't able to do anything about her snoring though, as medically it's not a problem, nor a sign of anything more serious.

It's just... so... loud!

Still, I'm just thankful she's doing ok. Next step will be to try and find her a permanent home for when I leave China. Let me know if you know anyone looking for an elderly snorasaurus...

As of Feb 29th:
1,400 unwatched YouTube videos on my 'to watch later' playlist (damn you recommended homepage!)
495 unread emails.
7 unread paper books (+ 1 kindle).
3 dogs and a hamster.

1 jar of chili oil.

198 episodes of Friends left to watch.

Lumpy Breasts and More Tests

The fun thing about writing your own blog, in addition to amusing the world with your witty discourse and poorly taken photos, is that you can also see how many visitors have come to your site, and from where. Thankfully having such an obscure blog name means your friends can also type "Heffalumps and Happy Times" in to Google from most places in the world and it usually pops up as the first entry - no fancy SEO techniques needed!

The downside of this, is that anyone can read your blog, and you can also see what keywords people have searched for. The charity haircut was quite popular, as well as searches for Korean toilets, however one of my blog's most popular posts was found through key words such as: flashing breasts, boobs, and open window. Ah, my first day at university in Martinique. The searchers must have been sorely disappointed.

So, given the popularity of breasts on this blog, and also the amount of comfort I received from reading other women's blogs and comments on the subject, I felt it would be cathartic to write about my own experience of a surgical biopsy in China, and to also act as a reminder to myself that I have an adverse reaction to both steri-strips and a certain kind of antibiotics. I might even get a few more page views from creepy people for good measure.

1. The Discovery
Lumps are never a good thing for a woman to find in the chest area, except for the occasional time an errant chocolate chip is inadvertently caught between bra and breast following a Netflix binge (or so I've heard from a friend...). Mine had popped up a few years ago, and after being practically frog marched to the hospital by Andrew and a friend visiting at the time, and several scans and pokes later, I was told it was all benign and I just need to have it checked every 6 months. Which, thanks to health insurance and several reminders, I did.

I therefore expected this last hospital visit to be much of the same: cold, sticky gel, blurry ultrasounds and free polo mints before you're sent home with a "see you in 6 months". Which was fine, until the sonographer and doctor started discussing their findings.
"Yes, quite large. Actually there's two, possibly more."
"Possibly surgery...".
"Um... hello? I can understand Mandarin!"
As my poor baby boy had previously had on operation on his back to have two tumors removed, my Chinese vocabulary in this area was pretty specialised. And whilst I was a tiny bit proud of my comprehension skills, I didn't like what I was hearing.

Now the doctors in China are not particularly known for their bedside manner, and although the doctor I had was fairly gentle, the news was still delivered rather bluntly. He explained (in English) that several lumps had grown rather quickly over the last 12 months, and given my family history with the big C, he wanted to cut them out and test. "Just to be on the safe side, as it's very likely you'll get cancer during your lifetime". It's always lovely to receive such encouraging words. "Could [I] come in after Spring Festival next week?" The surgeon was only having a few days off for Chinese New Year, but as my brother was due to arrive in a few days, I managed to book an appointment after his flight home. Blood tests were drawn, surgical knives were sterilised (hopefully), and several forms signed. It's times like this that I'm thankful for my faith, an excellent insurance plan and a sympathetic mother.

"Oh Ems, it'll be reet."

Reet, indeed.

And in case you needed a reminder, check your boobs. This story ends well, but as Dr B. said, it's better to be safe than sorry!

Temperature Checks and Toilet Rolls

Today I treated myself with a trip to the supermarket. Last week I'd taken stock of what I had in the apartment, and had been slowly emptying the fridge-freezer of any fresh/frozen produce. At last, I was finally down to the last sad looking sweet potato and had to venture out beyond the community gates. It was time. Sorry neighbours.

The community had sealed off the usual route I take, closing 2 of the compound's gates so we could only and enter through the one checkpoint. The rudimental barriers and security guards added to the low-security prison feel, and I felt the need to justify myself to the guy on duty as I left through the North gate. He merely grunted, as if scurvy should be the least of my worries when there's a deadly disease out there.

I wasn't quite sure what to expect as I made the way to the supermarket. The shops along the front of the building were closed, except one hot pot place offering takeout. You know China is in big trouble when even the hot pot restaurants are quiet. The supermarket had reduced their opening times to allow for extra thorough cleaning (always a bonus), and my friend Katie had already posted pictures of her local store, so I was hopeful there wouldn't be any shortages and a limited chance of catching anything. I passed the temperature check and entered an eerily quiet supermarket.

Oh it was glorious! They had everything and then some. As I was still slightly recovering, I didn't want to go too crazy and have to carry everything back, especially as using the other gate added a little extra to my walk. However, given how long it had been since the fresh fruit and veg market had come to our community, and the fact that I had barely spent anything in the last week, I was more than ready to 'splash the cash'. Especially as there was hardly anyone else there. I felt better about buying my fruit and veg when there wasn't an old lady pawing her way through them all to find the freshest ones or some guy picking his nose next to them.

I also bought flushable toilet roll. I wasn't sure if I was more excited about no longer having to empty a bin of used toilet roll from my bathroom, or the fact that I could read and understand the characters on such an obscure subject. I spent the next few moments playing the crazy-foreigner and grinning about my new find. I mean, this is life changing. Anyone who has ever visited a public bathroom can attest to how stinky those little bins get. I got a few odd looks from customers and staff, and wondered if they thought my happiness in the middle of such a dire situation was caused by the (fake) news that caucasians can't catch the coronavirus. No, I was happy about flushable loo roll. This is what my life has been reduced to now.

11 days to go?

I hobbled back to my apartment and made a smoothie. Fresh never tasted so good.

As of Feb 13th:
1,379 unwatched YouTube videos on my 'to watch later' playlist.
505 unread emails.
7 unread paper books (+ 1 kindle).
4 cartons of soy milk.
3 dogs and a hamster.

Copious amounts of fruit and veg.

224 episodes of Friends left to watch.

Lie me down in a darkened room...

Yesterday was my first day of online teaching.

I had no idea what to expect, and from the sounds of things neither did anybody else.  Our school is using our usual teaching timetable from 8 - 3.15.  We'd sent all the required materials the night before hand, and students were asked to download Zoom ready for the morning meeting. Thankfully I was able to get up in time, greet everyone on the group video call and then, the influx of questions began...

Student: "What time should we come on Zoom for Maths?"

Me: "You don't need to, please watch the prerecorded video you were sent by email labelled '1. WATCH FIRST', then complete the worksheet labelled '2. COMPLETE SECOND'. *You know, the things your co-teacher and I spent a long time planning and preparing.*

Student: "So what is the Zoom code?"

Me: "There is no Zoom code, you don't need to come on Zoom"

Student B: "It's 7**-***-****"

Student: "Teacher, I can't use the code to log in to Zoom."

Me: "That's because that's the morning meeting code."

Student: "So how do I come to class on Zoom?"

Me: "THERE IS NO ZOOM CLASS. Please check your email, it will have all the materials you need."

Student C: "Where are my emails?"

Me: *Where is my sanity?*

Who is responsible for teaching these kids how to read? Oh wait...

As well as the usual class content, I taught students how to open emails. How to write an email. How to add an attachment. How to add a capital letter when typing. HOW TO USE LOWERCASE LETTERS. Howtoaddaspace. How to add punctuation so all the sentences dont just merge in to one super long sentence without any space for a pause even though we most definitely cover how to avoid run on sentences like this in school.

And breathe.

I might add IT support to my CV.

In the afternoon, my co-teacher and I spent time calling the students to see how they were doing, and if they had any questions or concerns about online learning. Most of them seemed fine, although a few were a little suspicious as to why we were calling. The dogs were clearly unimpressed with their afternoon naps being disturbed, and held a meeting to decide what they will do if I stay home another week.

"I don't see anyone, do you, Mao?"
"It's only been a week, and now she's talking at her computer more than ever."

At 4pm I had to go lie down. I couldn't watch TV, read things on my iPad, or look through Facebook (this is being posted way later than 10th Feb). Anything that involved a screen was a no-go. Tomorrow I must remind myself to take a break. For my eyes and for my sanity. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage two weeks of this... wish me luck!

As of Feb 10th:

1,390 unwatched YouTube videos on my 'to watch later' playlist.
495 unread personal emails. 
0 unread school emails (for now). I'm not sure what I will wake up to tomorrow.
7 unread paper books (+ 1 kindle).

3 unimpressed dogs and a hamster.

229 episodes of Friends left to watch.

2 burning eyes.

Praising, Praying and Planning

So just over a week of quarantine complete and it's almost time for 'back to school.' I joined in with Church online again, which thankfully got me in the right mood to start the day, and by singing along loudly during worship, I ensured the neighbours kept their distance.

I then couldn't put it off any longer. It was time. Tomorrow will be my first online class and I honestly don't not know what to expect. As our school is a private international school, we'd already had two weeks off at Christmas, so we're due to go back a week earlier than the public schools who don't have time off in December.

I recorded a video over a powerpoint I'd made earlier, made sure everything was uploaded in the order students will need it, and checked everyone knew what time we would have our first 'lesson' tomorrow. We're using Zoom, which I've thankfully got quite used to through Church services and small groups. And most importantly, I made sure that any parents or kids who added my WeChat were unable to see my moments.

We have four homeroom teachers across two classes in Grade 4 (two Chinese, two foreign), and we'd previously decided to divide up the homeroom subjects (English, maths, science and world geography) and plan one subject each for both fourth grade classes. I would have no idea how I would cope if I was doing this by myself! I'm very fortunate to work as part of an amazing team, and despite the fact that everything here is closed, I am so thankful I am in the same country and therefore timezone, as the students. Some of our teachers are still in South Africa (6 hours behind China), and friend's at other schools are even further behind (8 hours) in the UK. I'm not sure I could start at 2am for this!

And then it was done, and I had a cup of tea to celebrate my success. In the Officer Training Corps we learnt, "no battle plan ever survives first contact with the enemy,” and I've always applied the same principal to my teaching career; "no lesson plan ever survives first contact with the students." I guess we'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings...  I'm just hoping the wifi holds out...

Setting my alarm for the first time in three weeks and praying I don't sleep through it.

As of Feb 9th:
1,390 unwatched YouTube videos on my 'to watch later' playlist (so many added as I tried to remain focused!)
495 unread emails.
7 unread paper books (+ 1 kindle).

3 dogs and a hamster.

229 episodes of Friends left to watch.

Way too much time spent on Pinterest and TPT looking for ideas.

3 alarms set at 5 minute intervals.

A Mother's Concern

As news of the virus becomes more and more sensationalist in the UK, my Mum has started to worry.  My brother and his girlfriend were finally home, albeit a week earlier than expected, but I had already decided to stick it out for the long haul. But what was she so worried about? About me contracting the virus? Going insane from spending too much time inside? A lack of medical supplies and hospital beds perhaps, given the ever increasing numbers? An inability to leave the country should I want to at a later date?

No. My dear mother was concerned I was going to... starve. 

I will certainly be the first to admit that I, like many in my family, have a healthy ferocious appetite. But if there's one thing Big M taught me, it's when something you like, or something you eat often, comes on offer, you stock up. Pasta, rice, dried noodles, cartons of orange juice... if you're going to eat it in the next 6 months and it's going cheap, then it's going in the trolley - in bulk. And as a 99% vegan, the usual lentils, chickpeas, baked beans and tinned tomatoes are not always available in my local supermarket so I usually buy in bulk online. As a result, my cupboards are usually full to bursting. 

So, in order to calm my mother's nerves, put off lesson planning, and also in part to actually see what I needed to eat up over the next four months - I decided to empty the cupboards.   

And that was excluding the fresh/frozen stuff in the two fridge/freezers. 

The panic is over.  I'm blessed to have such a full kitchen.  It's time to get cooking!

As of Feb 8th:
1,380 unwatched YouTube videos on my 'to watch later' playlist.
500 unread emails (I need to start hitting the unsubscribe button!)
7 unread paper books (+ 1 kindle).
1 carton of soy milk.
3 dogs and a hamster.
2 (thankfully still in date) tins of beans found at the back of the cupboard.

2.5kg of cashew nuts.

More pasta than the local import store.
231 episodes of Friends left to watch.

Grounded, Goals and Growth

Despite a lack of sleep last night, worrying about my babies, considering the potential lack of human interaction for the next two weeks, and some minor issue about a deadly virus working its way all over China..., I woke up full of beans and decided to sort my life out. With only four more days until I was 'back at school' plus a potential two weeks of at home quarantine, I was being given a free pass to transform myself, emerging from my apartment like some beautiful butterfly emerging from her cocoon. Or something poetic like that.

Our first email from school on the 27th Jan had said we were going back to school without the students, and teachers would give online lessons from the classroom. Meetings would be cancelled, and no large gathering of teachers would be permitted. So far, so good. But a few days later, a second email arrived saying we would be now working from home. The workday would still be 7:30-4:30, but with no commute in the freezing cold, no school lunches, and the opportunity to wear my slippers at all times with Mao by my side, meant teaching online sounded good.

I danced. I baked. I sang. I put off lesson planning for another day.

My dogs looked scared and hid in the bedroom.

I contemplated all of the things I could do from home as I knew I was going to be sitting a lot - online workouts on Youtube with tins of beans for weights, yoga (Heaven forbid), pilates... I felt tired just thinking about it. But still, it's the thought that counts right?

I set myself a more realistic goal: I started on season 1, episode 1 of Friends. Many people are always horrified to find I've never properly watched it, and I always seem to miss references, so with 236 episodes over 10 seasons I figured it could keep me busy for a while. Plus, I have everything I need at home to keep me happy over the next few weeks.

As I near the end of my first week in relative isolation, I'm doing ok.

18 days to go...

As of Feb 6th:
1,384 unwatched YouTube videos on my 'to watch later' playlist.
490 unread emails.
7 unread paper books (+ 1 kindle).
2 avocados.
2 cartons of soy milk.
3 dogs and a hamster.
No more tins of baked beans (eaten in case any more desires to exercise surfaced).
234 episodes of Friends left to watch.